There is a certain kind of dialogue about gender equality and sexism that has me worried. It’s the “men need to help with this” type of post, and it scares the crap out of me, because I think the idea that women need men to stand up for them against other men is the most un-feminist thing a person could suggest. I also think it’s unhelpful, since there might not always be someone else to stand up for us …
I don’t want women to feel that the only way they can be safe in the world is that all things that make them afraid, uncomfortable, or embarrassed have been taken away. I want them (and myself) to be unafraid of confronting those things. Yes, even actual physical violence.
I want to help build a tribe of warrior-women, who have their own thoughts and opinions, act on their own agency, wear what they like, say what they think, and are willing to do so in the face of criticism, defending themselves bodily if needs be.
Because I don’t think that getting one gender to look out for the needs of the other is equality, and because I think if you put the requirements for your happiness in the hands of others, you’re bound to be disappointed.