BodyLove Challenge

Web Body Love ImageI’m naked right now.

I’m not sharing that to be provocative … well, not in the way you’re probably thinking.

You see, I don’t spend a lot of time naked. Dezz can attest to this. Bra, panties, sure, but naked? *shudder*

I have lots of excuses I give. “I get cold easily” … “I don’t want cat hair in my vagina”, etc. And they’re true enough, but they’re not the whole truth. The truth is, I’m not really comfortable in my own skin. Even on my own. Just admitting this has me crying.

The really sad part is I know there’s nothing wrong with my body. It works, quite well, really, considering the abuse I’ve put it through. I’m strong, fairly healthy, relatively fit … why am I so hard on this body, which has been so good to me?

I could go off on a rant here, talking about how the beauty industry has helped to mould my warped, outside-in view of my body; seeing it as an object of pleasure for others instead of something that was intrinsically mine. A vehicle by which to move through the world in search of my own desires.

Again, the truth is harsh; I have taken part in my own mental subjugation of my body. I’ve allowed the objectification of my body by others to seep into my thoughts about myself. I began to think of my body in terms of how others would see it. I judged myself by how I looked from the outside, instead of focusing on the things INSIDE that fill me with joy and pleasure.

And even though I’ve come a long way in reclaiming myself, and pursuing my dreams, I haven’t yet reclaimed my body.

So I’ve started myself a BODYLOVE challenge. Whenever it’s appropriate, I’m going to spend my time naked, and learning to be comfortable in my own skin.

In a little while, I’m going to have Dezz take (tasteful) pictures of the parts of me that I’m uncomfortable with and we will post them. I want to learn to stop hiding the parts of me that I’m afraid of people seeing. I want to learn to LOVE MY BODY JUST THE WAY IT IS.

~Carol

This is my body
And I live in it
It’s 29
And 12 months old
It’s changed a lot since it was new
It’s done stuff it wasn’t built to do
I often try to fill it up with wine
And the weirdest thing about it is
I spend so much time hating it
But it never says a bad word about me

This is my body
And it’s fine
It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time
It’s not perfect
But it’s mine
It’s not perfect

2 Responses to “BodyLove Challenge”

  1. amanda March 27, 2015 at 2:44 pm #

    Carol, we may not “know” each other but 1 thing is for sure, u my dear are a beautiful person and soul. The way Dezz looks at u and the things I’ve heard about u say many things to me. Thank U though for being so brave, as many of us are out of love with our exterior, forgetting the beauty that thrives inside of us. Thank you, thank you for being so brave.

  2. Shannon April 1, 2015 at 9:38 pm #

    Love this naked honesty Carol! 😉 It’s brave and beautiful. I look forward to reading more about this journey you’re on.

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